Numb and overwhelmed at the same time
Why “Freeze” doesn’t cover your whole body equally—and how to find the edge where the numbness thins.
I was in the bath a few weeks ago. Not relaxing. Holding.
A lifetime of stuff had just come up. Memories I didn’t know I was carrying. Shame I’d passed to my daughter without realizing. Patterns that went back generations.
I felt like I was drowning in my own history. Numb and overwhelmed at the same time. It sounds impossible, but if you know, you know.
I asked myself where my body was holding it. My stomach. It was all in my stomach.So I put my hands there. Not to fix it. Just to hold it. Like I’d hold a child who was hurting.
And I stayed.
I told myself—out loud, in the water: “I see you. I’m here. I’m not leaving.”Goosebumps shot up from the base of my spine. A silent scream moved through me—the kind that feels like it’s been waiting decades to come out. And then stillness. A dot of light in the dark.
I don’t know how long I stayed like that. But when I finally stood up, I was still there. Still in my body. Still with myself.
The Way Back
Here’s what I’ve learned: Freeze doesn’t cover your whole body equally.There’s almost always an edge—a place where the numbness thins. A place that’s still holding sensation, still waiting to be found.
For me that night, it was my stomach. For you, it might be your hands. Your feet. The back of your neck. Your jaw.
You don’t have to feel everything to come back. You just have to find one place that’s still online. That’s your door. That’s where the return begins.
Your tiny practice this week:
When you’re feeling numb or disconnected, scan slowly. Not to fix anything. Just to find.
- Can you feel your hands? The weight of them?
- Your feet on the floor?
- Your chest rising?
- Your jaw—is it clenched?
Find the one place that still has sensation. Put your hand there if you can. Say—out loud or silently: “I see you. I’m here. I’m not leaving.”
You don’t have to feel better. You just have to stay.
That’s the way back.
🤍
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